May 2011
16 posts
...
Noone is probably ever going to read this and I really don’t care. I will just send my words out there to hope that it will help me cope.
Ive spent the past year of my life planning to marry the man of my dreams then I just realize ive been pushed around fora year? How could i be so naive to not see that he was treating me just like everyone else that did me wrong. Im falling apart...
“Measurements
Step Size
One 8 to 5 step (full step) is 22.5 inches long.
One...”
– I have to memorize this crap….. FML.
SOA
I cannot wait for this summer! I’m so ready to make these other 149 people my family. I’m ready to get away from all this stress and just do what I love. I’ve never been so sure i’ve wanted anything until now and I’m just counting down the days. This weekend will be the first time we are all together and I can’t wait!!
I’m gonna make these the best 3...
Haven't posted in a LONG time...
I’m gonna try this again.
I’ve got a lot I need to say and hopefully this makes me feel better.
I’m over hating things about myself. I want to feel like i’m enough. I want to feel like i’m more than enough. I want to stop dissapointing everyone that matters to me in this life. Not pulling the stupid blame the parents card but wow theyve really got this idea of never...
September 2009
3 posts
haha
ok so its kinda funny how kanye west has already posted an apology on his blog. if you are going to do something like that and make almost everyone lose respect for you atleast have the guts to stick by it. if people still like you after you compared yourself to God i doubt there is much that can make them leave you now. ha
September 1st 2009
I have no clue what to do.
Colorguard is my thing its just what i devote all of my time to and ive never felt tempted to quit no matter how bad of a practice i personally have until today. im so dissapointed in my teammates not only for letting me down but for letting their teammates/friends down. its rediculous how its the same people over and over. i dont know how to motivate them. i feel like...
August 2009
12 posts
August 31st 2009
I need to start apprectiating the people who are there for me. I realize that sometimes maybe i dont tell them how much appreciate them or show it to them. thats a new thing i plan to do. show them how i really feel and how much i appreciate it every time they make me laugh or smile. I spend too much time focusing on the negative and the people who do me wrong.
random i know but i wanna fix that.
August 30th
ha i realize its the 31st but this quote is from yesterday.
“I love having multiple personalities. i can redecorate my room and then come back later and feel like i was just on trading spaces”
my friends are pretty amazing :]
she makes me laugh.
my life...
has the most bizarre twist and turns…
yet i still cant shake this feeling of mediocrity.
August 29th 2009
It’s kind of annoying how like half of society thinks that they can treat people however they want. ill admit maybe at one point in my life i was that way but geez you gotta grow up sometime. you think its ok to walk all over people who try to care for you. its not right and i promise one day it will catch up to you. You cant always skate through life doing whatever you want whenever you...
oh and..
the book tweak is my new obsession.
i cant put it down.
August 25th 2009
I really thought that i had stopped thinking about you. newsflash. i was wrong.
I gotta figure out something to fix this. and believe me i will.
oh and current annoyance. people who talk about stuff that 1. is not their buisness and 2. they actually dont know the real story about.
I find it very rude and disrespectful to post personal things about peoples lives all over the internet. maybe...
August 16th 2009
This is going to be really random
but “schwat?” hahaha the funniest way i have ever heard the word what said in my life :] his sister is hilarious.
now onto an actually post. im getting confused with life. i dont understand how some people live how they do i guess cause im so stuck in the way that i was raised. but getting married and having kids at 16 or so and people who go out and...
thanks random myspace friend.
“Even though we don’t know each other that well, it still makes me happy when i see your face…cause your so beautiful.”
July 12th 2009
Tomorrow i actually get to get out of bed.
im going to practice but still cant handle a full day of school and practice. i need to catch up for friday. i am determined to perform regardless of being “advised” otherwise. I am going to push through. i need to be there for the rest of you so this is my way of doing it. i wont be at my best but im trying..
these past few days with my mom...
July 11th 2009
i cant stand being sick anymore.
i havent been able to get out of bed for a few days now and icant go to school for the rest of the week and im going crazy.
way to much thinking time.
i was getting bugged by this stuff before but i had no time to think about it. now i have nothing but time cause im at home all day and the medicine im on wont let me sleep more then 20 minutes at a time.
ugh..
August 5th 2009
“whats wrong with your arm?”
“i gave blood”
“oh really how much blood do you give?”
“a pint”
“how much is that?”
“like the size of two of those milk carton things.”
“HOLY CRAP. YOU GAVE 2 GALLONS OF BLOOD?”
hahah i realize she means the small milk things you get at school and i get laughed at. hahaha
August 1st 2009
How is it that my last year of high school is starting?
this is my last high school summer. this is the last time that i will be sitting here getting anxious for a first day of public school. I cant believe my life has flown by like this. i dont know how to handle this. ill be honest most of my friends going to college are getting sad now because they are about to leave but truthfully im freaking...
July 2009
20 posts
July 31st 2009
its really irritating when someone acts like friendships mean nothing
like I guess you say since im a girl i feel differently but i thought you had some kind of feelings
how could you possibly say to me
“well the only reason we were friends is cause we wanted more and since that didnt work whats the point in being friends?”
like you seriously think that is a good look on life
we...
July 27th 2009
I love how my mom knows exactly what i need after a long terrible day.
July 27th 2009
im so freakin excited for BOA sitting in the GA dome and seeing how huge it was for DCI totally got the excitement going.
3 months :]
last first day of camp today. :]
July 24th 2009
ok so my disclaimer before i even start ranting is that this is an old friend that noone reading this knows. im sure of that. so dont start making assumptions about who its about please.
its really annoying when you lie about everything because you make it thinks you look cooll or gets you attention. what kind of sick person thinks faking their suicide and telling everyone they killed themselves...
July 22nd 2009
I hate feeling pulled in a million directions. have you ever felt like you dont know what to do or how to handle something? ive never felt like i had so many people to please at one moment in my life and ive never felt less support from my Dad. He always has a criticism for me and my leadership skills. I want to do the best I can i hope everyone sees I am.
As cliche as it sounds today i was...
July 21st 2009
The colorguard has made so much progress in the past week and a half and i cant even believe it. its very impressive. and the attitudes this afternoon were much better.
its really unthinkable to ever talk back to merrell or tell her how to run her guard. you got some nerve. hopefully you find your plac.
my phone is dead :/
housesitting for the week.
then DCI :D
July 19th 2009
tomorrow is going to be terrible. i woke up with that feeling today and i was right. i have a feeling tomorrow will be the same.
I cant stand the way that some people act. I hope that tomorrow some people have had an attitude adjustment. I’m tired of hearing the disrespect whether it be to krista or me or the other captains. its getting rediculous. in the band everyone knows the colorguard...
July 19th 2009
i have serious…
frustration
people drive me crazy.
July 17th 2009
Its really annoying when people still bring up stuff that is totally irrelivent and annoying. noone wants to hear about the past. its over.
Guard camp was very tiring but im so ready for full band rehearsel tomorrow. i hope the girls come early so we dont get yelled at again. ha
I get so frustrated with the same people day after day and then me and other people tell them they are irritating and...
July 15th 2009
People will always lie to make themselves not have to deal with reprocussions of their actions. be careful cause you could get blamed.
Its annoying when people constantly talk bad about someone and then act like they love them. why be fake. just tell them you dont like them. i dont understand.
The music for the show is amazing
My body hurts more than it ever has. maybe cause i didnt sleep at...
July 14th 2009
Its very irritating when someone constantly tries to tell you what to do
even more annoying than that is when they are sarcastic every single time you speak to them. ugh
I cant wait until friday :/ come back.
Sunburn hurts.
haha so glad the flip was taken out of the guard show. i thought i would end up with a concussion. lol now it looks really cool
Im going to sleep so early. haha its 6:48
July 13th 2009
Today was so freakin hard. ha im sunburnt and sore and have hurt my spine. but in the end every second of this will be worth it im sure.
The next 3 weeks will make me much tougher. ha and obviously more like a tomato in skin color.
House sitting? ha that will be a great experience. itll feel like being on my own because ill get to spend the night there without worrying about anything and getting...
July 9th 2009
After this weekend my life is pretty much over for 3 weeks
DCI is going to be amazing :]]]
Its hard to find something on tv that is intelligent to watch
contrary to how i felt yesterday i will most likely finish the book of Isaiah this month im on chapter 22
“in His steps” is a really good book. if youve read it you know if you havent you should. it starts slow but its really good
...
July 8th 2009
Realizations:
My puppy is sick :[ and i feel terrible for her.
This month I have texted way too much. 8540 texts so far for the month and I have twelve days left before the month on my plan ends ha
I am really happy these days. even though i got some terrible news it seems that things are still amazing. Im trying to be more of an optimist. Jackson has a positive affect on that aspect.
Planning...
July 8th 2009
Realizations:
I really love spending time with maggie and anna. haha even when i night turns out to be a bust and we dont get to do what we want to. ha wehad high hopes for a tuesday night.
Iam really happy. life is good :] it seems to keep getting better
only two for today haha
July 6th 2009
ever find yourself in a situation where someone tells you something that just leaves you beyond words?
that was my life today.
i never thought in a million years someone would tell me that from watching me and my example that they would choose to make a real dedication to Christ.
Sometimes things seem to be going wrong but then look at how God rewards you for your obedience in the tough...
July 4th 2009
Happy 4th everyone
today was such a weird day. I really have no clue where some things come from. I cant say it was a great day by any means but still. I loved spending time with my mom. We havent done that in a little while and I forgot how fun it is. Its really dorky when you and your mom finish each others sentences but it reassures me that when all else fails and high school drama comes and...
July 3rd 2009
1: im trying. take your own advice with your dirty language “jesus child” which i believe was “f***off” you call yourself a christian. dont bother replying because im gonna be the better person and leave you alone. have a wonderful sunny day 2: okay i think you have me confused with holly. (Thank you to this person. I know this had nothing to do with me but you have seen me...